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PICKING THROUGH THE WEEKEND TRASH: SUPER BOWL EDITION

Editor’s Note: This probably should have been posted yesterday, but as everyone knows by now, the Dumpster plays by its own rules…

JOE FLACCO IS GOING TO BE A RICH MAN

Joey Flacc came to play on Sunday, huh? 22-for-33, 287 yards, three touchdowns, and no interceptions? Not too shabby. Did you know that over the course of the last three seasons, Flacco is 6-2 with 18 touchdowns and just two interceptions in the playoffs? Decent, I guess. Now the Baltimore Ravens, a team that is currently approaching salary cap hell, has to decide if they want to spend a shit ton of money on the fifth-year man from Delaware. Is Flacco really a top-tier quarterback, or is it the Ravens  organizational philosophy that catapulted them to another championship? Just remember, Trent Dilfer also won a Super Bowl with Baltimore. Regardless, Joey Flacc is gettin’ paid, son. Whether it’s Baltimore, or someone else, remains to be seen.

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WHY DOES EVERYONE SLEEP ON JACOBY JONES?!?!!

The Houston Texans must have been pretty bummed this postseason as they watched one of their former players, Jacoby Jones, torch defense after defense in the biggest stages of the biggest games. First, he famously lit up the Broncos in the final seconds of regulation to send the game to overtime. Then, after the Patriots managed to keep him check, Jones made not one, but TWO of the biggest plays in the biggest game of the season. There was the bomb that he hauled in during the final two minutes of the first half that gave the Ravens an 18-point lead, and then there was the infamous 108-yard kick return touchdown to open the second half that should have broke the game open for the Ravens… but then, you know, the power went out or whatever. But that’s neither here nor there. Did you know that because of that return, $600,000 worth of furniture was given away by an Eastern Maryland furniture outlet? Jacoby Jones just doin’ his usual Jacoby stuff, no big deal. Do you miss him yet, Houston?

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TORREY SMITH MIGHT BE THE BIGGEST DECOY IN THE NFL

This is also the same reason why Torrey Smith is one of the more valuable wideouts in the game. Pretty much every team that matches up against Baltimore makes it a point to take him out of the game. The kid can fly, and with Flacco’s cannon of an arm, you don’t want Smith beating you down the field. As a result, Anquan Boldin, Dennis Pitta, Ed Dickson, Ray Rice, and of course, my man Jacoby Jones are left wide open to make the plays. Smith had a couple catches for 35 yards, but still drew the majority of San Francisco’s attention defensively. Meanwhile, Boldin, in particular, went off for 100-plus yards on six catches. But at the same time, you can’t double up Boldin and leave Smith and Jones streaking down the field in one-on-one coverage. Quite the conundrum, huh? That’s why I could never be a defensive coordinator.

BALTIMORE’S DEFENSE IS NO JOKE

The 49ers went just 2-for-6 in the red zone with a crucial fumble. They also went just 2-for-9 on third down. San Francisco simply looked lost on offense up until that power outage. It’s official; Baltimore’s defense is legit. That being said, the Ravens are losing Ray Lewis and are also at a crossroads in regards to re-signing a handful of key players, including Paul Kruger, Dannell Ellerbe, and Ed Reed. Again, organizational philosophy is a key reason why the Ravens are so successful on defense, but odds are this unit will look a lot different next season. Will the results be the same? Maybe. Will the pre-game warmups be the same? Never.

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TERRIBLE PLAYCALLING, SAN FRANCISCO

That final red zone effort from the Niners was a joke. Handing off to LaMichael James on first down in order to drain the clock down the two minutes warning? I get that. Following that up with three straight passes to Michael Crabtree? I don’t get that at all. The fourth down play in particular made no sense. Who’s call was that? Did Kaepernick really audible at the line just to throw a fade to Crabtree in double coverage? Even if you want to claim that Crabtree was held by Jimmy Smith, the play-call itself was so awful, the Niners did not deserve any more offensive plays for the rest of the game. In general, the 49ers did not deserve to win at all, and the coaching was a big reason for that.

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FRANK GORE DESERVES BETTER

There was one thing that stood out to me as a watched the Niners frantically claw their way back into the game: Frank Gore is an animal. Here’s a guy who, considering his position, should be well past his prime. Yet, even as he approaches 30-years old, Gore still grinds out every yard as if he was just given his last carry. He played his ass off on Sunday and it was very obvious late in that game that he wanted that win more than anything. It’s amazing to think that he can still fight for yards the way he did when he came out of college. He’s been in the league for eight years, and incredibly enough, he’s eclipsed 1,000 yards rushing in six of those seasons. Yet, he still doesn’t get the credit he deserves. I hope the Niners are back in the Super Bowl next year; I would love to see Gore tear it up on the national stage one more time.

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THE NINERS WILL BE BACK

Have no fear, 49ers fans. You’re team will be back in the hunt next year, and the year after that, and the year after that. I know Colin Kaepernick looked like deer in headlights in the first half, but he looked like something special following the power outage. He looked like he has a chance to be the most electrifying quarterback in the game someday. Keep in mind, he’s made 10 career starts, and he’s just 25 years old. The kid has a lot of room to grow. San Francisco is not going anywhere, especially with Kaepernick leading the way.

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BEYONCE IS HOT

I didn’t watch the halftime show, but I heard Beyonce looked good. Can anyone confirm this?

Pepsi Super Bowl XLVII Halftime Show 

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