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TOP FIVE THINGS TO DO DURING A BLIZZARD

1) PLAY BOARD GAMES

What better to do during a blizzard than bond with your family over board games?!?? Scrabble, Risk, Monopoly, Hungry Hungry Hippos; it doesn’t matter. Any of these classic board games will immediately lead to instant fun. Personally, I always liked Guess Who. Although, for whatever reason, we had the alternate version of that game in my house.

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And for whatever reason, I wasn’t allowed to bring it to school. We still had fun, though.

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Sidenote: If a man named Scott knocks on your door during a blizzard and asks you to play board games with him, do not let him in. I don’t know who he is, but I think he was the one who raped Sally. And he probably wants to rape you.

2) DRESS UP YOUR PETS IN SILLY COSTUMES

This is a personal favorite of mine. When you’re stuck inside with nothing to do, let your animals be your source of entertainment! They won’t mind being tortured at all!

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Look how much fun they’re having!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Look at how much fun your having!!!!!! My god, blizzards are fucking awesome.

3) BUILD A SNOW FORT

There’s nothing quite like building a massive snow fort for you and all your friends.

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Think of all the crazy keg parties you could have in your fort. Endless booze. Half-naked girls everywhere. Non-stop fun.

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Okay, so maybe it turns out the snow fort is just for you. And maybe it turns out you don’t have many friends. Or any friends, really. And maybe it turns out you don’t know how to build a snow fort in the first place. And maybe it turns out that you are slightly overweight and out of shape and would be completely exhausted after 10 minutes of trying to build a snow fort. I can relate. I have attempted to build many a snow fort in my day. It’s a lot of fucking work! I don’t know how people do that kind of shit without passing out, but the end result for me usually looked like this…

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At least we tried, right? We’ll get it done one day…

4) READ BOOKS

Think about how smart you’ll feel after you read a nice long book!!!!!

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Just kidding. Books are for suckers. Drop it after six pages and start masturbating instead. It’s way better.

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5) GET DRUNK AND/OR DO DRUGS

Come to think of it, not much should change in your life just because it’s snowing outside. Blizzard or no blizzard, I’ll still be doing the same shit I usually do. Maybe you like to spend time bonding with your family. Maybe I like to spend my whole day in my bedroom, half-stoned, surfing the internet in my boxers until I get bored and take a nap. And when I wake up? Maybe I like to do the same thing all over again. I know, it’s pretty awesome being me.

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So whatever you do, don’t let a stupid blizzard bring you down!!!!!! Remember, it’s just white stuff falling from the sky!!!! Don’t let it faze you!!!!! Just do you, baby!!!! Do you!!!!!!

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